What you said and im NOT !

What you said...

but im not....

hate others say me like that...

what the fuck you say and call and im not...

im disagree what you said...

i feel i become more rude and dull recently...

what you said and shut up...

don say any words that im mad ...

keep your mouth shut and don fucking the hell words infront of me...

im so endure as well now....

don make me hit you...

im not too fine with it...

you better know the next step you need to do!!

GOD bless you...~

A different study lifestyle and christmas eve T.T

i had a horrible and terrible tired week...
a totally diffirent lifestyle ...
every day need to presentation with formal ...
OMFG ! my formal shirt not enough for it...i need to buy formal shirt and my formal pants for future use...
i had my presentation last wednesday and i had a praise from lecturer ...im so happy...because this is the first time praise by lecturer in my individual section presentation...^^
this week..i had writing for mass comm presentation also..."press conferences" ...i had put alot of effort on it...and i didn't sleep just because of it...i prepared all the tools and decoration things...
is damn tired for me....shit...!! and i went to presentation without a full rehearsal and one source makes me stress is i have to get ready with the question from media group in press conferences... im worry they will play a trick on my group...but finally they asked the question is simple for me....~.~ and in the same time i had a good comment from lecturer...^^ Thanks God~~

After that, i went back and sleep a whole night....then celebrated wei chung's birthday with him... and then, i went to 21st drinking with my friends...we discuss about ghost...is quite scary and fright...we drink and chit-chat until 3am and i was badly drunk and overnight in my friend's house...really shit..!

and the next day ( yesterday) i woke up on 8.30am then went back to my house and continue to sleep...is damn blur that time....and then i went to school on 11.3am but the class is ended on 12pm...i just went there and take an attendance...=.=

after that, i have to start rushing my web pages deisgn assignment...is quite challenging for grace khoo and me...i have to edit images up to 30 images for her in one night...but i havent finish yet now...continue tomorow...because i have no mood to edit images...im doing the assignment until now and no christmas countdown for me....everyone went to celebrate and somebody having a trip to genting or singapore... left me alone in a room and rushing for assignment...! FUCK ! and Bull Shit ! what the hell christmas eve i had !? And tomorow need to continue my assignment...! Friday morning i have to go back earlier and i need a meet with my sister ... don't know how she looks like and what the souvenir she bought for me from Bali and Sarawak...i think is useless for me as well...

Yesterday is Wei Chung's Birthday !! i wish he had a wonderful birthday and merry christmas !

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL !!!!!

Good Night and Have a nice dream ~~~

Emo

i feel that im emotional recently...
my friends telling jokes or laughing...
but i still have a smile...or just give a response...
i don't know what the hell is happened about me...
im rushing my assignment recently....
have some conflict with my classmate...
is suppose coorperate well....but the result is different...
i don't like the feeling with conflict...and lying people...
but i cant control the matter...but it is over...
well...im not trust to anyone in my class now..
just can believe myself....wanna be bad or good guy in class..?
just checking their action and planning the next step what should i do...

very emo and emo recently....
Don't like to talk, don't like to laugh...
juat like a dark cloud around me....
help me..~~~~

My 18th Birthday !!

my 18th birthday...
a birthday without family..
a birthday with many friends and family wishing...
thanks to them...
thanks to:Dad, Celine(eldest sister), Shirley(elder sister), Derren(younger brother), Z, Sue, Ck, Kk, Sengle, Agatha, Weichung, Yaya, Huingoh, Cj Kaigor, Jeff, TB5 Gangs-( Bro.Jinyuan, Bobo, Carmen, Elaine, Carmen, Yangting, Cheehong, Chooipeng, Xiaopei, Grace, Hongyun, Junjun, Pooiyeng, Shyn ) Miss Kavitha(my lecturer), Benson, Ganss, Jingel kaimui, Joseph, Kelvin, Kiajin, Poicia, Ritchic, Shunjing, Suwen, Wenglee, Wenxian, Yongheng, Jowy, Jacelyn, Jessica, warrior, Andrew, Swing, Xiaobudian, Desiree, Kinjun, Kei Mikeleong, ziyin, 俊杰, Michelle, Maliqha, 丰仔 and many more...thanks you all..!!Sorry for those i forget to mention...tell me..!!but you cant angry me..!hihi...^^

13-12-2008 night
Sue wanted giving surprise for me...hihi...i know some about her planing ..so i think what will be going on...anyway, thanks her...and my cool friends from hometown...ck, kk and sengle...they came to kampar and celebrated with me...happy...and they bought a cake and t-shirt + beach pants for me...thanks alot..!! i like it...while there was 12am sharp...my phone was busy...and i was busy to reply message and msn....be a busy man that time....after they back, sue n i went to 21st bistro drinking some...
sue said im drunk that time...she said im emotional..haha...really..? don't know...after that,we went to westlake and waiting for meteor rain..but i think is rumours..because there is nothing..=.=

14-12-2008
my birthday...first of all, i slept till 9am..then wakeup online...! there is nothing to do ...and boring... thanks to my kaigor,eventhought he is moody recently but he still called and wishing me twice...thank you..!!
after that, sue n i planned wanna go out ...but there is raining suddenly...shit..!! then the planning
canceled. After that, we cooked something to eat..hmm...the third time i have a big cook in kampar...of course the all food is nice..hoho..!!then at night, my TB5 gangs and i had a gathering in 21st too... we eat and drink..i had two cakes by them..thanks alot...and....this time i drink alot...feels abit faint and simply say nothing...all my friends keep laughing at me...=.= after that, we had a big group snapshot ...! And then, we wanna go to sing K ..but it is closed...so canceled....then we went to restaurant for supper...finally i feel better more after taking supper...haha..my friends worried about me that time...lolxx...so shame..around 2.30am...i went back to home normally and my friends expectation is fail..hihi...because they expected i will drunk when back home....finally nope..!hihi...
overall, my birthday is just like that....
a birthday with friends...
i will post the photo soon,sorry....because im so busy for last week and this next week....have to rush my assignment and presentation....

2 more days to go...

a birthday without family...
this is my first time will experince it soon ...
since i was a baby till now...i had 3 or 4 times birthday party only ( if i not mistaken )
my family culture which is they are not so concern about bierthday and all this thing...
my parents will bring me go to take a dinner and buying a cake celebrate with me this few years... i had my family celebrate my birthday with me every year...
2 more days to go...is my 18 years old birthday...it will makes me exciting and waiting for that day coming normally....but i din feel any exciting and happy now...
don ask me why..? i also don't know...
maybe there is many and many assignment are waiting for me...i don't have time to think and to feel it is coming...
and final is around the corner ... come on! allen..! you need to study hard start from now..!!
you cant be a loser..!
anywhere..., everything will be change after my 18 years old birthday..!
i got to sleep now...
night everyone...

at last, HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Yew Hooi...my good friend we know each other since we was 13 years old...
i wish that he has a wonderful birthday at hometown...althought i cant celebrate with him now...apologize for that...
~Friendship Forever~

- My 18 years old birthday...is that going to celebrate with my family? But i wish... -

MADLY FUCK NIGHT

I REALLY HATE OTHERS MISUNDERSTANDING ME !
I HATE THEY THOUGHT I'M LAZY AND I DON'T WANT TO GO FOR DISCUSSION !
AND I DON'T KNOW ACTUALLY WHAT IS GOING ON ! I DON'T KNOW THEY GOT DISCUSSION TONIGHT !
AND ONE OF MY GROUP MEMBER SAID THAT SHE GOT INFORMED ME !
WELL ! BUT I DIN HEAR ANYTHING ABOUT THE DISCUSSION AND I DON'T KNOW AT ALL !
I REALLY HATE THE FEELING ABOUT OTHERS FAIL TO UNDERSTAND CORRECTLY ABOUT ME AND ABOUT THE PROBLEM !
SERIOUSLY I REALLY CANT TO ENDURE ABOUT THAT ! EVEN THOUGHT HOW TOLERANCE I HAVE !
I JUST CAN SAY THAT THIS IS NOT MY FALSE !
I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT THE DISCUSSION !
WHAT THE F NIGHT I HAVE NOW !OMFG !

F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.F.
U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U.U
C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.C.
K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K.K
!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.!.

- FOREVER FRIENDS -

- Forever friends -

I believe I can love
You give me your loving care
I believe in what we are
I don’t know where I would be
Without you staying with me
Sometimes, I’m lost in misery
You will take me all the way, I’m not afraid
Oh, you and me, hand in hand
To everywhere amazing
Be my friend, oh friend
We are forever friends
Oh baby, you give me all the love I need
You are the only one

I believe I can love
You give me your loving care
I believe in what we are
You will take me all the way, as day by day
Oh, you and me, hand in hand
To everywhere amazing
Be my friend, oh friend
We are forever friends
Oh baby, you give me all the love I need
You are the only one
You will take me all the way, as day by day
Oh, you and me, hand in hand
To everywhere amazing
Be my friend, oh friend
We are forever friends
Oh baby, you give me all the love I need
You are the only one

-By artist : 冯曦妤

I love this song very much...
The lyric is truly and deeply represent what i feel & what i want to say...
it represent what i think and what YOU and ME to be...
-FOREVER FRIENDS-

WHAT IS WEB PAGE DESIGN ?!

Today , Web Page Design....
well...., before that i think that web page design is a subject that i can handle very well in this sem...because i like to design...i like the feel when design something...
BUT....today i had a web page design test....it test all is theory and the syntax...
Oh My God...!! it almost make me die in exam...!!
while doing this the test...i really become more and more angry...because all this such things is useless for web page design...!
Hello..!! web page design is using our creative not only the theory...! Theory is just a thing that is dead and it really just a dead thing...! why we want to study the dead things ?! really make me feel mad about this...!
it make me become more and more to mad of it and i don like it anymore...!!sienzz...
creative to design a web page is called web page design...
how about if memories the theory of web page design? what is it? should it call web page design or web page study....?! hmmm....think about it....
overall for today web page design...is die..!!
I'M DEAD..! and im waiting for the punishment for it...."x"

关于她

她, 是我的好朋友.
她, 是我的知己.
她, 是我的姐姐.
她, 是我的老师.

四年前,她把我当成她的好朋友...
从那天起, 我们的故事就开始了...
这一段友谊的故事, 一段开心的剧情...,一段难忘的友情...
她教会我很多东西...
无论什么事情,她都会帮我...鼓励我...安慰我...真的谢谢她...!
她无时无刻都是我的听从...愿意听我诉苦...
她无时无刻都鼓励我...
她教会我什么是珍惜...
而我在她身上学会了坚强...

她每天早上的习惯就是喝一罐橙汁,才上学...
她每天都很认真的做完每件事...
她是一个很坚强的小女孩...
她的坚强比谁还来得强....
佩服...!

我曾因为她而流泪...因为我知道我不能失去这位朋友...
自从我们大家联络回对方...泪才慢慢的消失...
我和她的感情,友谊感觉还是像四年来的感觉一样...一直到现在都没变...
她呢?是不是一样?

她, 一位开朗,坚强的小女孩.....
就是 她...
江幸芮.

Lazy Monday

Today feel sleepy and nothing to do...
no mood to study , no mood to play...
somemore NO mood to disucss assignment...
assignment is around me now..!!OMG...
there are many and many assignment is wating for me...
somemore got mid-term exam...SHIT !!
is impossible to play and relax...
but lazy lazy and lazy ...!!
Lazy to write blog , lazy to do revision , lazy to discuss assignment...
i want relax...!!i wanna my holiday..!!
Where is my holiday...??!!

...Today...

Today , raining day...
I just finished my first sub exam...
i don't know why i feel so nervous this time..?
Maybe last sem i got a poor result...
and i promise myself i wont get that result anymore
and...
that was the first time and the last time..
Maybe this is my luck for the exam
but..
i have to try my best....
i hope i can do it so...

I'm very happy that Z is finished his exam too...
i hope that he can get a result that he wants...
+u Z ...you can do it...!
as i said before, we have to put alot of effort on our study...
just because poor of it...

Z is improving his lifestyle...
i know that....you are tough enough...
Gambateh together...!!

And thanks to my kaigor...
today he called me and encourage me...
thanks alot...^^

Today is today ......
Tomorrow will have a nice day...
and continue my journey...
something is waiting for me to find out...

SHOPPING KING & QUEEN ?!

Last Sunday, Sue n me went to shopping..
we went there by bus....BUT before that we need to walk to a bus stop..!
OMG ! we walked to bus stop under the hot sun and we wear so nice(i think so...hahahaha)...
other people maybe will feel weird...(actually is i feel SO WEIRD!)
i really hope that i have a car now ...and i can go anywhere i like...mmmm...(DREAMING)
...so after we reached to bus stop and while waiting for the bus coming...
we went to 7-11 bought a bottle of water...(actually is because 7-11 got air-con)....haha..
So lucky...the bus arrived on time...and we saw our friends at the bus stop...and we went to ipoh together....but different shopping mall...
....we chit chat and listen songs in the bus while on the way to ipoh...
After the bus arrived to bus station...we need to take another bus go to shopping mall...
But...this time...the bus not so good....because no air-con , people smoking( i hate it) , bad smell , and many things i don't like...
huu...!!Finally we arrived to shopping mall...
We spent alot of money for our buddies's present ...
We busy for searching their present and suit them...waaauu!! is a confused mission...
We spend so much of time to buy our things and rest...
most of the time is thinking of my buddies's present....and choose for them...
hmmm....hope that they lwill ike it...if not,.....( they will know...hahaha....)
Besides their present....i only bought two t-shirt for myself...( i have no t-shirt....pity...)
Sue only bought pants, one formal shirt and one t-shirt...
After that....we went to a steamboat restaurant took our lunch.....is nice & cheap..!
And then....we continue searching for their present...
Huuu......Finally we finished our mission...
We went to starbucks buy a drink and going back to bus station by taxi...
about 7pm we reached to bus station and ready to back home....suddenly, someone said there is the last bus to going back to kampar...(AND THE BUS WITHOUT AIR-CON)...
ok ! fine ! i go n asked a driver...(STUPID DRIVER)...the driver said that is the last round going back to kampar...and said don't choose whether got air-con or not!... i really feel weird and feel angry...WHAT IS THE ATTITUDE HE FACES TO ME!!.....really fedup!...and i can see the bus actually is full already...how i going to sit !?!? ( i think he wants me sit on the bus)....WHAT THE FUCK HE SAID and i won't forget about his SHIT face...Finally there is another bus going back to kampar....so sue , me and my friends went back by that bus....but still without air-con also.....haiz....is ok.....fine.... !no choice...
Finally,we went back to home...and MISSION COMPLETED..!
shopping is nice but my wallet is bleeding blood....Overall amount of the money both of us used is around RM500+++....IS Terrible and Horrible....!!!

Goodbye September ; THE END ?

Goodbye...

september is over...november is coming...

everything in september , all happiness ,

all sadness will disappear in my mind...

welcome a new month...build some happiness , continue my running...

But...there is something always in my mind and my heart...

i wont forget your funny stories , your smile and laughing...

we've know each other since we were nine or ten...

we had joy , we had fun...and i miss that all time we had...

is funny...nice...touch...and real...

even thought our relationship unlike before...

but i want you to know that you are my besties forever...

i'll always be there...and waiting for miracle ...i believe it...

goodbye the moment we had....it cant return back...and history will not coming back...

goodbye and let it go...i miss the history we had....

but i hope that our" movie "can continue and will not stop at here...

Is it THE END of the movie?

......

Cloudy Day and Bored

Just now...i went a lecture and a tutorial class...
wooh! Thats so so so boring....is too boring and sleepy for me...
WHY??
Because the lecturer talking something is useless for exam and tell some bored story...
Feel very boring and sleepy for 3 hours just now...
In additon...got something is annoying me...so i cant concentrate just now...
Luckily, i got bring my MP3 .... later wanna go to gym...i worry i fall sleep in gym room...
Yesterday i sleep late...and today need to wake up so early...is tired for me...
somemore raining and cloudy day...wooh! so nice to sleep...

Althought there is a new day....But there still got something annoying me....my mind just like the cloudy day...

Cloudy and Bored

Just now...i went to a lecture class and a tutorial class...
wooh! Thats so so so boring....is too boring and sleepy for me...
WHY??
Because the lecturer talking something is useless for exam and tell some bored story...
Feel very boring and sleepy for 3 hours just now...
In additon...got something is annoying me...so i cant concentrate just now...
Luckily, i got bring my MP3 .... later wanna go to gym...i worry i fall sleep in gym room...
Yesterday i sleep late...and today need to wake up so early...is tired for me...
somemore raining and cloudy day...wooh! so nice to sleep...

Although it is a new day, there still got something annoyed me....my mind are just like the cloudy day...

Hurt With A Lie

Today...my friend was received a call from his sister...
and his sister told him something...and lie him...
This is straightly HURT to my friend and feel speechless after he knew that ALL his sister told him may A LIE..
my friend told me that He hopes the all lie from his sister is fake...
i hope so...because i don't want to see both of their relationship become worst...
My friend scare to ask his sister whether it is true or not...
He worry the answer by his sister....HE FEELS NERVOUS...!
What can he do now? What should he do? How??Why his sister wanna tell him A LIE?
i also don't know how to help him...Im just guessing now...whether my friend's sister got tell him A LIE or not...but i think that his sister is lying my friend... don't know...Whatever i think is useless....
Well...........
Everything can proven by the time ... I'm sure that there is an answer waiting for him...

"CHICKEN POX" GO AWAY !!

CHICKEN POX is visiting me now...!! i dunno what i should say..?!
Last three days...i get sick -HIGH FEVER , FLU , FAINT , and VOMIT..!
They make me so suffer and moody... ! OK! FINE ! i went to see doctor ...
when im back ... i also bring alot of medicine came back ... ! I take so long time to swallow the all medicine because so BIG...!! OMG!
BUT in this two days... , THE HORRIBLE CHICKEN POX IS VISITING ME ! omg !!! MY WHOLE BODY and FACE is CHICKEN POX !!when i go and bath , i touch my body...!!!OH MY GOD !! is terrible..!! When touching my body...i can feel the one pox one pox on my body..!! NOT THE ONE , IS MANY !
I cant believe it ,it can grow on my body as many as horrible ! i still cannot accept my whole FACE and BODY is CHICKEN POX ! now..... my breakfast , lunch , and dinner is FISH only...So, everyday i will thinking some simple and nice idea to cook the fish..haha~~~
haiz...WHEN THE CHICKEN POX WANT TO LEAVE ME ALONE..!?? IM SO SUFFER TO FACE IT !!! GOD BLESS ME ...~~~~HELP ME....!!!pls~~~~

失眠..考试...

今天开始..是我这个sem 的 final exam 了...
我还不想睡...不知是不是因为习惯了...所以习惯了..夜猫子的生活...
4.25早上了...还是不想睡...等下就要考英文了...但还没翻书...
不知怎么办..?!

最近,我发觉我变回以前的夜猫子了....黑眼圈也深了很多...
从早上睡到下午...就是等于晚上才是我的生活...
最近,大家的关系差了好多...不知为什么我觉得大家都是有心事...
最近,我不想见某某人...甚至不想和她联系...
讨厌..!!不想看到她..但,偏偏就是要我看到...
好不想!!

今天...成功与失败在战争着...
如果..成功胜利了...当然的..开心..
如果..失败胜利了...当然的....失望...
每个人都想自己是聪明人...
每个人都想自己是能干的人...
但偏偏就不是你...
不说了...我要去准备了...

祝大家一切顺利...!!^^考试成功...

Four Weeks-Be a Big Boy...

now...6.07am...i don't know why i feel unsleepy now..at the same time...i feel long long time i didn't post my life's diary d...ermm...im fine around this four weeks but exam is coming soon...but i didn't do any revision and not ready yet...i feel nervous...yes..im worry about my exam...but after i feel nervous and scare...i become back a lazy people...i also don't know why...haiz..!my friends always console and encourage me..i realize what they want me to be...and thank for them...but i really can't find out the right study way that suit me...i will finding it out...!!in this four weeks, my life happened many happening...got make me happy...sad...glad...disappointed...angry...cry...and other....but im still can take care of myself...im always telling myself that im strong...be a big boy...won't so easy to fall down...this three sentences round and round , repeat and repeat in my mind...and console myself...heee...
Yesterday , i went to ipoh shopping with sue...early of the trip..i felt happy ,exciting and laugh and laugh with her..no matter my wallet has left RM60...i know that there is not enough for me shopping...after we went back from ipoh...my wallet is empty...is really empty!!...i really feel so shame in front of a girl...and somemore i need to ask her to pay for me first....omg!!i don't like that feeling...i really feel sad and shame of myself...how can a boy be like that...others i don't know..but for me,i can't accept!!this is not a boy should be and this is not a girl should do...and i know that i will return back that i owe...i really uncomfortable to owe someone else's money...today i went to gym ...the first time i went to gym....i saw others dancing at there...they really cool!!im admire them...and by the time..i will also blame myself and my parents...myself-why i don't know any dance or any music knowledge...my parents-why they don't let me learning piano or any instruments...i know after i blame,i will become normal...ermm...other than drawing and singing...what else i can do?...what else so expert..?Nothing...really nothing...drawing-haha...can't fight with other people...im so poor of it!singing-hahaha....many and many people better than me ...and confident than me...i got my ambition ,my inspiration..but i do not have anything...i just can be a big boy...^^haha...later i will going back to hometown...and monday coming back to a boring place...well...luckily my house got online...so that,i can playing my notebook and waching movie...but where is my mickey mp3?my friend make me disappointed and i started do not believe with her d....she told me this week...ok..i wait...but finally...there is nothing on my table, on my hand...but im still waiting...Recently...i feel that a person makes me feel mad with the person self...because the person did something that i really cannot endure.but i hope that the person will know what the person did that is wrong....ok ...i got to sleep now...^^byebye...today will be a nice day...^^

ended at 6:51am..

打败战！！

可怜。。
这三天，我都病了。。
咳。。
我还以为一天后会有好转。。
哪知道。。倒霉。。
前天，我发烧有好转了。。
今天。。又来复发了。。
最可悲的是。。
4种朋友今天一起来看望我。。
“发烧”，“头痛”，“咳嗽”，“伤风”
他们“真好”。。
弄得我没得吃好的。。没得睡甜的。。
我真的打败战了。。！！

Deo Gratias...

昨天。。
真的忙得要命。。
去完成我的升学文件。。
该做的。。都做了。。
该寄的。。都寄了。。
总算是完成我的工作了吧。。

想起昨天。。
真的要谢谢我的好友-chin yew(小贱妖），chooi khuan（君），sue
没有他们的帮忙。。我看东西不会完成得那么顺利。。
谢谢他们。。

从早上8。00am..出发。。
到下午4。00pm..回家。。
哇。。好累哦。。。
一到家。。马上冲凉。。
然后抱着暖枕睡觉。。
到晚上8。00pm ..起床。。吃饭。。
之后。。上网聊天。。看戏。。
哈哈。。直到凌晨5.00am 才入眠。。

+好担心我的升学计划+

" 希望一切顺利 "

人

人。。

总是有高起的时候。。也有低落的时候。。

人的一生就像乐谱里的旋律一样。。

人的一生也像戏剧里的剧情一样。。

高高低低。。。起起跌跌。。



人。。

也是总要学会如何在低落的时候。。过的快乐。。

跌倒了。。虽然很痛。。

但，也是要爬起来。。继续往前走。。

跌倒了。。有了伤口。。

就要及时治疗。。

别等到伤口严重了才治疗。。

那已经太迟了。。

同样的。。

人。。做错了。。

就要及时改正。。

别等到事情严重了才解决。。

已经没得补救了。。



人。。

应该学会如何在开心时。。与他人分享你的喜悦。。

开心时。。会觉得时间过得很快。。

开心后。。应该去珍惜开心的时光。。

把开心留在人的记忆里。。

把开心留在时间的岁月里。。

把开心的一切与他人分享。。

我想。。开心的另一个定义就在这里。。

把开心带给每个人。。把喜悦与他人分享。。

这样人生才过的开心。。圆满。。



人。。

不应该容易放弃。。

忘记以前的失误。。把握现在你拥有的。。

把以前的失误。。当作教训。。

把教训当作未来的警惕。。

人生不至是一段短短的路。。

人生是一段很漫长的人生道路。。

所以，人。。必须开开心心地走完这条漫长的路。。

必须从跌倒后爬起。。再走下去。。

12。3。2008 难忘的一天。。好哥哥的陪伴。。

好久都没有写了。。

今天。。。

是我拿spm成绩的一天。。

我拿了成绩。。

心情一直不好过。。（因为成绩超烂）

哭了一整天。。也睡了一整天。。

家人虽然没有表示什么。。但我知道他们很失望。。

对不起。。

睡了一整天。。去上网聊天。。

哈哈。。好开心。。

最近，我在网上认了一个新哥哥。。（承俊）

他人很好。。有时我觉得他还亲过我家人。。

所以，我天天都找他和我聊聊天。。谈心事。。

他每次都说自己不是个好哥哥。。哈哈。。他好谦虚哦。。

每次又不让我说“谢谢” 和“抱歉”。。

哈哈。。。他真是个好哥哥。。

可以说。。他就是我的亲哥哥。。

虽然，他是住在kuching。。好远。。

但，我不会和他失去联络。。

今天。。我好伤心。。心情低落。。

全靠他。。（承俊哥哥）。。我才没那么伤心。。

心情才好了很多。。

全靠他。。一直安慰我。。

记得昨天。。他陪了我一整夜。。因为我睡不着。。

同样的今晚。。他也是陪了我一整夜。。因为我伤心。。

谢谢你。。哥

今天。。也是我最难忘的一天。。

记得。。拿了成绩。。爸爸打电话给我。。

我不自禁的哭了。。我不敢面对他们。。

过后。。二姐打电话给我。。

我不但没有接。。还关他的来电。。

好没礼貌。。

第三通电话。。我接了。。她听到我哭的声音。。

她也二话不说。。只讲：“我等下再打来。。”

就收线了。。

朋友们。。一直安慰我。。但我还是不能接受事实。。

只好忍到回家。。才大哭一场。。

我好开心。。因为我有一个好哥哥。。

他一直责备自己不好。。帮不上忙。。

我好痛心。。因为家人一直装无所谓的样子。。

他们知道我难过。。所以没有问我成绩。。

我好难过。。因为我唯一一科的希望。。

竟然。。没拿A...好失望。。

现在。。我只希望我能顺利的进form six。。

希望。。上天不要再玩我了。。

+事事顺利+

2008新年结束了。。

新年。。。
哈哈。。我觉得今年的新年有点闷闷的。。
不开心。。？应该是吧。。。
闷闷不乐的我。。。每天躲在家里。。
再不是，就和朋友出一出去。。
整个新年就像是没气氛的。。
好无奈哦。。

每天换新衣。。好无聊哦。。。
呆在家里。。。看看电视。。睡睡觉。。吃吃东西。。
小肚南也跑出来了。。

和朋友出去。。。拜个年。。那个红包。。喝杯茶。。聚个会。。
这样有过一天了。。。

每天的生活就是这样。。。
重复的。。
变得好懒惰哦。。。

总而言之。。
新年。。搞得我的肚子大大的。。。哈哈。。

落泪的一夜

虽然某些事情已经解决了。。

但，我的心情还是没有变。。
依然是冷冷的。。寂寞的。。

今晚，也是我流泪的一晚。。
我边听那首"我们的纪念”
一边流泪。。
是我真的变了。。？
还是被那首歌的旋律弄哭了。。？
不清楚。。
边哭边聊的我。。。的确不好受。。
又不让弟弟知道在流泪。。
只好不把头转后。。一直在聊。。
好不容易停了。。
一阵子又来了。。。
整晚就是边哭边聊的。。。
直到大家都睡了。。下线了。。没有人了。。
我的心情才好了些。。。

谢谢朋友们一直安慰我。。。

夜了。。
我又打开部落格。。
继续写我的心情。。。
听着部落格的音乐。。
完成我的文章。。。
我一整夜的心情。。。
也在文章里画上句号。

不是自己的自己

今天。。我突然觉得我变了。。做了一个不是自己的自己。。

心情低落。。。不想和别人说话。。不想见任何人。。

觉得我现在活在一个不属于我的世界里。。

还是我变了。。？

变得不太爱说话。。不太爱沟通。。

喜欢锁自己在自己的心里。。。

不愿意出来。。

以前的我。。终是没有秘密。。

但，现在觉得好像不太信任任何人。。

觉得自己才是最值得信任的。。。

变得孤独。。有压力。。觉得自己快要疯了。。

一直压应自己的心情。。不让泪滴下来。。。

把一切都塞满到我情绪里面。。开心的。。不开心的。。

的一切。。一切。。

含着泪的晚上。。。整个人都睡不着。。

尝试去想。。。不能。。再想我就快疯掉了。。

只好写部落格。。。

一个人的夜晚。。的确很宁静。。

心情。。也慢慢地。。平服了。。。

但，依然是一个不是自己的自己。。。

。。放开。。

春去秋来 花谢花开
记忆深埋那片心海
所谓纠缠 只是伤害
没有人 去灌溉一切成黑白

只是我还放不开 对你太依赖
只是我还不能够释怀
只是我还放不开 内心的阴霾
忘了曾经你把我出卖
一路走来 几许尘埃
爱是谁来还谁的债
决定醒来 躲开伤害
而命运的安排已无法更改

只是我还放不开 给我个痛快
因为我已不能够表白
只是我还放不开 对你的期待
无法忽视 真爱的存在

一个故事的开始和结束都在不同的夜晚。。
快乐的开始。。不忍心的结束。。
都在讲述着同一个故事。。

X x 请讲 x X

男:是是非非真假

原来相当可怕

如甜梦

全是哄骗话

真相被遗下

女:话若可分真假

情难修饰欺诈

柔情话

诚实欠了吧

一切是废话

男:想想你不会伤

想你不要伤

想你不再受伤

可讲的我都会讲

讲我都会讲

请你不要乱猜受创

如你心安不厌我

我都讲

女:请请你不要拖

请你不要拖

请你请你别拖

可讲的也请你讲

讲到底也讲

让我不再绝望

男:我衷心将一切尽讲(女:以真心将谎言尽挡)

男:梦在心中多好

情毋须怎宣布

无情话

无谓去制造

真相论程度

女:愿望星般多高

祈求真心倾诉

缘无尽

蒙在那片雾

真爱未看到

O o 我们之间 o O

这一段时间

有着什麼样的画面

喜怒哀乐全写在日记里面

发现

每一页全都是 经典

所有的故事都值得纪念

现实的考验

我们说好一起面对

不管多久多远绝对不喊累

期待

一次的美好的阴天

我们说好谁也不放弃谁

手牵著手 (连成线 最紧密的圆圈)

肩靠肩 （每一刻都好像在身边)

深呼吸 做你最高的堡垒

风吹过的海边

雨水下过的季节

让我好想念

我们之间

不会有改变

相同的庆典

一瞬间 变成了乐园

我们之间

转了一大圈

相同的终点

会发现

所有的心愿 会实现

当你相信。。

Many nights we prayed

With no proof anyone could hear

In our hearts a hopeful song

We barely understood

Now we are not afraid

Although we know there's much to fear

We were moving mountains long

Before we knew we could

There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe


Easy to despair
When all you hear is fear and lies
Easy just to run and hide
Too frightened to begin
But if we dare to dare
Don't wait for answers from the skies
Each of us can look inside
And hear this song within


There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frail
It's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will
You will when you believe


They don't always happen when you ask
And it's easy to give in to your fears
But when your blinded by your faith
Can't see your way clear through, through the rain
A small, but still resilient voice
Says hope is very near...
Ohh.............


There can be miracles
When you believe
Though hope is frailIt's hard to kill
Who knows what miracles
You can achieve
When you believe
Somehow you will(Now you will)
And now you will
You will when you believe
You will when you believe

夜猫子的生活。。O.O

至从，靠完式后。。

我就开始了夜生活。。

喜欢在半夜上网。。聊天。。玩电脑。。

渐渐地习惯了。。

不知道几时开始喜欢夜生活。。

有了夜生活。。我的部落格才有文章。。

不知道是不是半夜才有灵感写文章呢。。？

半夜。。当每个人睡了。。我才觉得这个世界是我的。。

静静的。。好舒服哦。。

没有吵杂声。。没有被约束的感觉。。没有人吵我。。

真的好舒服。。

听听音乐。。心情都平静了很多。。。

把一天一切的烦恼都。。忘掉。。

半夜。。也是我最喜欢的一个夜晚。。

没有任何声音。。只有我打字的“嘀嗒”声。。

加上一首喜欢的音乐。。写着部落格。。

这种感觉才是我要的。。

。。平静。。安宁。。

现在已经4am了。。但我还是不爱睡。。

反而，我会去珍惜每个夜晚。。

不舍得的度过。。

就像现在。。又度过一个凌晨了。。

半夜。。可以让我想起很多往事。。

所以。。我喜欢。。

夜猫子的生活。。。

早睡早起。。^-^

今天。。我超早睡。。大概。。

8：45pm 吧。。我忘了。。

但。。。=.=

刚要入睡时。。又被爸爸吵醒了。。

又要帮他做东西。。

但。。。

一做完。。我立刻到房间去。。

大睡一觉。。

但。。。怎么今天那么热啊。。

不能睡。。去开了冷器。。

哇。。好睡多了。。

我一睡。。就睡了5个钟。。

2：45am半夜起床。。

开电脑。。上网。。

不知等下，能不能再入睡呢。。？

但，今天是我唯一一天。。

最早睡，最早醒的一天。。

好开心哦^o^

。。熟悉的感觉。。

今天，我回到学校一趟。。。

因为弟弟生病了。。。所以要去接他。。。

当我一踏入学校。。我看到。。闻到。。。那熟悉的样子。。熟悉的味道。。
令我好想背起书包。。坐在课室里。。上课。。
但我已毕业了。。

我好怀念和朋友一起上课的日子。。玩的日子。。
一起被老师骂的日子。。哈哈。。。好开兴哦。。！

在学校，我也看到了歌咏团的老师。。但和他也只不过有两三句而已。。
之后，我到办公室里看一看。。原来有很多敬爱的老师。。已经走了。。
好可惜哦。。

虽然有熟悉的地方。。熟悉的味道。。，熟悉的样貌。。
但。。没有了熟悉的老师。。

咳。。。

如有机会的话，希望能再度回到学校和朋友们。。聚一聚。。。一起来反转整个学校吧。。！！
哈哈哈。。。开玩笑的啦。。。

一直在麻醉自己。。

已经几封了。。
他还是没有回我。。
我一直地在等。。一直等。。
一直在麻醉自己。。他一定会回信给我的。。
一直在压应自己的心情。。
不敢说给别人听。。
只希望麻醉药不要那么快散。。继续地欺骗自己。。安慰自己。。

有时。。，也会哭了起来。。
不是因为什么。。，是因为让我回想和他的一切。。
从开始认识他。。。慢慢地变成好朋友。。。再成为像似兄弟般的知己。。
。。到现在的一切。。一切。。

好希望可以回我一封。。就那么的一封信。。我就满足了。。
也可以让我好过点。。。好吗。。？
希望他可以给我解药。。。

妈妈，生病了。。

今天一早就被爸爸叫醒。。
还以为发生了什么事。。
原来是妈妈生病了。。

一起床，梳洗后。。就帮妈妈晒衣服。。
之后，和朋友吃个早餐。。
回来，再陪妈妈去看医生。。
过后，我就开始在厨房做菜了。。
哈哈。。做菜也很好玩的呢。。
等了弟弟回来，就开始开饭了。。好吃！！
吃完了午餐。。我就开始做家务了。。
好可怜。。
做着，做着。。快要做晚餐了。。
我开始发脾气了。。怎么那么忙啊。。？？！！
不小心吵醒妈妈。。
妈妈说晚餐，他来做。。。
所以，我才没发那么大的脾气。。。
吃了晚餐后。。我有得做家务了。。
摺了衣服。。冲个凉。。又去洗衣服了。。。
之后。。我就在床上大睡一觉。。
哇！！今天累死我了。。。
做了一阵天的house maid真是不容易啊。。
哈哈哈。。。。XD

青蛙王子的生日。。

今年，是我和他第一次庆祝他的生日。。

虽然整个过程。。不是在什么好玩的地方。。

但，大家都有个难忘的一夜。。

他的收获也不错哦。。。

大家。。都在他家玩了整夜。。。

玩什么?

拍照。。。吃蛋糕。。。玩“笑笑”的游戏。。

哈哈。。。大家都在他家玩到12.30am..才肯回家。。

在大家。。要回家时。。。大家都来个大和照。。

虽然，人少少的。。。但，有个多多的欢笑。。。

最后，祝青蛙王子“国杰”。。

。。。生日快乐。。。

*购物之旅*

五天四夜。。。

购物之旅。。。

虽然，觉得有些闷。。

但，收获不错哦。。

那几天，我几乎每天都去购物。。。

1utama,sunway pyramid,sungai wang,ioi mall。。。

每天都在逛街。。。

累死人了！！

我也买了小小的礼物给朋友们。。。

老姐也带我去吃好吃的。。。

吃得我，胖胖的。。。

胖死人了！

在kl。。。

我也看到了我的朋友。。

真巧。。！！

好开心。。。

整个旅程都算顺利啊。。。

两个字。。“开心"。。。！！

想听的话

慢慢地撤出忧伤
你在转角处等他
能用声高放地唱
我可以整天对你的牵挂

这场爱不会开花
我情书却割舍不下
明知你爱的是他
却还是学不会摆脱这挣扎

想听的话你说给了他
我的快乐从此蒸发
如果同时爱的代价哪相信
想撒个什么谎

想听的话得不到回答
我却还在独自装傻
回答时我的脸颊好让你看不见
我眼角的变化

*fall in love with someone..*

Day after day....
i feel like i fall in love with someone...
but i dun really sure that my feeling is correct or not...
I'm fear to tell her... so annoy...
should i tell her..? or keep it as secret...?
i afraid her respond out of my mind...
i feel i'm coward...useless...
so hate myself..!!
i'm fear to tell her....except this..,what should i do..?
i know both of us are impossible...
so...i'm just force my mind dont thinking her..but is suffer...
so...i'm waiting...just waiting...

secret

secret.....
i hv my own secret....but sometimes , i feel that i prefer sharing my secret with my friends...
than i keep in my heart...

I have my secret.....?
lolzz...sometimes i feel that i dont really understand what is secret...
maybe i dont like to keep secret in my heart...i feel that secret is a thing can make me feel stress and unhappy in my lifestyle..

secret..,i like to share with my friends..especially with my best friends..after i sharing with them..i feel that i'm so free and nothing to annoy..this is me..?i dont know...i need somebody to tell me also...

*my dream come true...*

today...
my father asked me that what i want to do in this three months..
i've just answered him...
i have nothing to do....
and i want to go for a design tuition...


He just allowed me to go for design tuition...
and his respond out of my mind...
oh my god..,i felt so exciting and quickly called my tuition teacher...
but i knew a thing already..that is my parents wont let me studying design...and give me a lot of reason....
but...anyway...my dream comes true now...i studying design ,so i need to keep it up...and follow on my dream....i'm won't disappoint my parents n family..i hope i can do it...!!^^